On OverThinking

I’m thinking too much again. Trying hard to have all the answers. Mostly for other people, but also for myself. I want to know that I’ve got this all figure out. I want to understand  what I’m doing here. I want to believe that this all makes sense. The tendency for my mind to wander, and call it “meditation” is making me think too much. Does every idea need to be investigated? Does every possible scenario need to be given attention? I find myself trying to remember if this is what I said last time, if this is the right thing to say this time.

I’m reading a book by Alan Watts, given to me by a friend. A Zen perspective on Man’s relationship with Nature. I use “Man” to refer to the species, and I use “Nature” to denote the entirety of the natural world, encompassed in totality by the planet shared by EVERYTHING. The book is making me think too much, and I can only read a few pages at a time, in an effort to process and understand the notions and ideas from the brilliant mind of Mr. Watts. He investigates how Western culture has divorced itself from the natural world, and how this separation negatively impacts how humans behave inter-personally. He offers examples of how Eastern philosophy finds it’s foundation in the recognition of Man’s place in natural cycle of birth, existence and death, and how this understanding provides more positive and holistic way to live life. He presents some mind-blowing ideas for how we can change the way we interact with the natural world, and if you can handle it, I strongly suggest you read this book: “Nature, Man and Woman” by Alan Watts.

When I’m not holding the book in front of me, I put a modern spin on his words, and I mix them up with ideas in my head that pertain specifically to my life. I find these moments of clarity that make so much sense and I find these incredible moments of confusion and doubt. I become those moments and “survive” through them and live to remember them as past, and I feel good about each day passing, and I’m still here. But any decent practitioner of Zen knows, if “you” are still using “I”, there is still much work to do!

I’m thinking too much again. About how to live a life I love. About how to make each day worth it. About the people I love.  I know I don’t have all the answers. I understand the way  I do things isn’t, shouldn’t, can’t be the way other people do things. I know that justice and fairness are held out as universal principles, but I also know that morality is subjective.I understand that if I teach my kids to think for themselves in such a thoughtless time, it may mean they end up “thinking too much”. I hope!

When the sun is out for these long days,  I am reminded that I feel my best when I am outside with the wind in my face; with sunshine on my skin, bathing in rivers, climbing rocks, resting in the shade of ancient trees. I feel best when I am confronted with my own insignificance, when I am dwarfed by mountains, swallowed up by oceans, reminded of how small I am, reminded of the IMMENSITY of EVERYTHING!

Get outside today, it will make your life better. Thanks for reading my words and for participating in the Living Revolution!! Until next time…

Peace.Tobias.

 

 

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