some down time today, and few minutes to write.
I try not to grip the pen too tightly. I try not to think too far ahead.
If so, I might lose track or spell wrong, or skip words.
Ink and paper feel a bit foreign after so much staring at the screen. There is a rhythm present and I like the way it feels.
The things I’m doing are the things I want, even If I can’t do all the things I want. I’m paying attention to fewer things, I’m leaving dreams behind in search of tangible adventures, I’m seeing more opportunity, I’m seeing a clear path, I’m recognizing simplicity in the chaos around me.
I’m more aware of things I’ve let go, more aware of my own boundaries and capabilities. This life continues to challenge me and I continue to find fulfillment in
working hard, thinking deep, taking time, smoking weed, staying busy, pushing the envelope, avoiding boredom, training, changing, growing, evolving.
I’m still sure I don’t want to be one of them. I’m still sure I’ll fight for those I love.
I’ll still live authentically, taking advantage of moments, sometimes thinking about the future, but not always reaching for it. Getting better at using my words, trying hard to “do” more and think less.
I get stuck there sometimes, thinking. Stuck replaying thoughts I’ve already thunk, or thought I thunk. Thoughts are NOT now, so they can’t always be trusted.
I like listening to people talk to each other in this coffee-shop, there is an element of reality I don’t hear often.
I’m figuring it out…I need to stop trying to make it all about me.