chasing novelty never gets old.
I’ll try anything once, and then again,
as long as its different that before.
I’ll try anything I haven’t done with anyone I haven’t done it with before.
I find myself nonplussed by the new and titillating.
I find myself sitting back and twiddling my thumbs as all the colors change around.
As the world swirls and twirls in front of my face only pausing when I choose to breathe, only stopping when I find the thing I want, only holding on for this moment or that moment, never grasping, never holding on loosely, but gracefully cradling the preciousness of whatever is happening now, trying desperately to feel connected to the cosmos, connected to the chaos, connected to the constant change that is the only truth I believe, the only force I know strong enough to make me feel, strong enough to make me questions if its all worth it, strong enough to drive me forward, one moment at a time, dying to myself, while still living the most possible, best possible life.