Does it matter to you there are holes in my shoes? What does it feel like to feel something most people want to avoid?   What does it mean that I’ve built this life for myself? What is living like this the life I’ve chosen for myself?   Why is “different” what I want to … Continue reading


It seems like every week there is a new level A new challenge that keeps me getting a good grip and holding on for dear life and I pull it off meaning, I haven’t gone hungry or worn dirty clothes or felt anymore cold than what I allow myself to feel   So, how do … Continue reading

Show Up, Do Work

I’m learning that trying to make myself tough reduces my ability to create I’m learning the difference between existing and optimizing I’m learning when I should test myself more and when I should let myself grow I’m learning that there are rules for how to be good at life Rule #1: Show Up  Rule #2: … Continue reading


How patient should I be? how long do I make myself wait? is less than enough really a way to live? what make people think they want more? what are we all saving for? why doesn’t that appeal to me?   Am I a fool for believing we are all going to die? is it … Continue reading

Can you relate???

Sometimes you make the change happen sometimes the whispers become screams sometimes your effort isn’t enough sometimes its not about you   What I’ve learned this week is emotion connects us what I’ve learned this week is to stay present What I’ve learned this week is to say the words what I’ve learned this week … Continue reading

An Interesting Paradox

The most interesting, paradoxical feeling… Understanding I have the ability to hurt people, and understanding why I choose not to. Using my body to inflict harm does not make me feel “good”, and yet I practice regularly, honing my skill set, dying a bit myself each time a choke overwhelms me or a limb becomes … Continue reading